FREE
FALLING
'Follow your heart, but be quiet for a while
first. Ask questions, then feel the answer. Learn to
trust your heart.' Anonymous
Much of coaching work is about helping people to
actively take control of their lives. While I
believe there is nothing more valuable than feeling
you're paving the pathway to a better future, I also
believe in the importance of learning to be in the
present moment and making peace with the process of
life.
One of my closest girlfriends from school
returned to Melbourne six months ago after living in
London for over a decade. She came home to be closer
to family after losing her husband, the father of
her two daughters, in a car accident twelve months
earlier. As with many long term friendships we
slipped back into close conversation as though we'd
been a regular part of each others' lives for the
past thirty years.
Words are inadequate when it comes to offering
empathy and understanding to someone whose situation
you've never experienced. But I still ask how she's
doing and recently she told me, 'I'm just
freefalling.'
I'm in awe of her sense of trust in life...but
not surprised really. She's always been relaxed.
Wisely, she's not making big decisions other than
those that are essential. For now, all that is
important is to get through the days and be there
for her girls.
I didn't ask her what free falling means to her
but I have my own sense that it's not about apathy
or inaction. There's a certain sense of energy
associated with the image of jumping from a plane.
But there's also a sense of trust when you allow
yourself to fall freely through the air, all the
while knowing that when you're ready to pull the
cord you'll steer yourself in the right direction.
We can't always plan for the timing of things and
we certainly can't mitigate every risk in our lives.
But we can learn to trust that everything will work
itself out.
When we're faced with real adversity, we often
find ourselves reaching into the heart of what
really matters. And it's often then that our values
change.
As long as we make the time to consider those
values and then choose small manageable steps that
open up possibility, we can let go of the idea that
we need to control it all.
Learning to free fall:
- Set aside some time to write down your
values and reflect on whether you really live
your life in alignment with those values.
Knowing that you do this one thing will allow
you to be more accepting of the things outside
your control.
- Ask yourself the question 'If I didn't need
to control my circumstances/other people, how
would I be different?'
- If you're finding the state of the world
worrying, consider limiting your exposure to the
media for part of each day.
- Learn to meditate or read 'Buddhism for Busy
People' by David Michie to learn about how to
live more in the present moment.
- Use a simple affirmation several times each
day along the lines of 'I trust that everything
will be ok'. It's amazing what a difference it
will make to your outlook.
|
