GIVING AND RECEIVING

'Generosity is not giving me that which I need more than you do, but it is giving me that which you need more than I do.' Kahlil Gibran

While there's a lot of emphasis on giving during this time of year, many people find the lead up to Christmas extremely difficult.

I listened to an interview this morning with the editor of 'The Big Issue', a magazine sold by homeless and unemployed people so that they can participate in society and generate a small income for themselves. The current issue features interviews with some of the vendors of the magazine - one comment in particular made me incredibly sad. It was written by a man who talked about Christmas spent in a boarding house and how it was a time when he feels most keenly all that he'd lost.

It made me wonder how we can make Christmas a time where we give more of ourselves. How often do you hear people saying they are so busy at this time of year that they don't have time to fit another thing in (I'm guilty of this myself). We're busy being social, buying presents and getting things finished and maybe too busy to stop and consider what it might be like to give of ourselves at Christmas rather than giving gifts.

Some people are perpetual 'givers' who find it difficult to allow others to give to them. Without being willing to receive, the process of giving and receiving loses its natural flow.

There is grace in both giving and in receiving and even more grace in participating in both parts of the process in an appropriate way. Recognising that some people aren't naturally comfortable receiving and being sensitive to the way you offer your help is as important as the gesture itself.

A few weeks ago I met an elderly neighbour who lives in the next street. She's a lively great-grandmother who lives alone, spending much of her time tending her magnificent garden. I thoroughly enjoyed talking to her and realised that I have neglected to be a good neighbour to the elderly people around me.

This is a Christmas gift that I would like to give - to visit my neighbour with a plate of shortbread and make the time to sit down and enjoy a cup of tea with her. I'd like to ask her about her garden and her grandchildren and I'd like to listen to her stories about what the neighbourhood was like forty years ago.

What would you like to give this Christmas? And where can you be open to receive?

I'd like to wish all of my readers a very happy Christmas and thank you for continuing to subscribe to my newsletter. It brings me much pleasure to write it and I am always very grateful for your messages of support.

ON A PERSONAL NOTE

A few years ago, my sister and her husband bought a run down little beach house which they transformed into an inviting but casual getaway that they generously share with many of their close friends. They kindly offer us the use of the house for a few days before Christmas each year. It's one of our favourite places to be in the world.

While it takes a bit of organising, we manage to get everything ready for Christmas day (which we generally have at our place) and we head down the coast.

It is the perfect time for us to unwind. We always feel a bit like we're playing hookey - everyone else is still at work while we've escaped the madness. There is no one around...we have the beach all to ourselves and Chris gets up each morning to surf the perfect waves without any crowds.

We're doing the same this year - both of us are counting down the days! We know that we will get so much more enjoyment from Christmas day being relaxed and rested.

Of all the Christmas gifts, this is by far my favourite. Like me, my sister works and manages a household and is the parent of teenagers and her life is incredibly busy. But throughout this year, on a number of occasions she has come over and helped me out when I've been completely overwhelmed. In the last month, she has been cooking meals for my parents who have recently moved into their new home in Mt Martha. And every day she gives of herself to so many of her friends.

Of all the people I know, my sister shines brightly as the person who takes care of others. Although I've thanked her many times, I'm not sure if she really knows how much of a difference she makes. Shine on, Anna. You are by far, the kindest person I know.